Of Setting Suns and Sunsets

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 44; the forty-fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

She always loved sunsets. There was something about them - maybe the fact that its all over or may be the promise that there will a brighter day tomorrow. She didn’t know what exactly; but she loved watching and losing herself in the moment – in the fields of her big farmhouse. In one of these sunsets, he had come to meet her. She had dreamt of this meeting all her life. The meeting when she will get to meet the man of her life, selected by her parents and relatives. Strangely though, there weren’t any butterflies as she had imagined.

He stayed in the US and was a perfect match for her – tall, handsome, qualified, settled. She was weaving dreams of a beautiful tomorrow just like the one promised by the sunsets she had grown up watching. She was of marriageable age and had to be married for there were 3 more sisters waiting in the line before her father could heave a sigh of relief. And she was packed off to the US without getting a chance to know him, his behavior, his likes dislikes, his temperament. After all, all arranged marriages are like that. Who meets the guy before marriage? Not we Indians plus her mothers and aunts also got married like that. They have always been happy.

And yes, she tried to be happy when the first time he hit her. She had just asked about the picture of the girl on the wall. She tried to be happy when the 2nd time he hit her, she had just wanted her passport back. The Nth time when she had her nth miscarriage, she told herself whatever is meant to happen will happen. But for how long will she have to take it? She was to know soon.

That fateful night when in a drunken state, he came home wanting to bed her and she resisted - he hit her again, with a rod. While she was gathering her strength to stand up on her feet again, she caught hold of the same rod and hit him back. She loved it, she did not know she could do that. “This is nice, it felt so good.” With her new found strength, she kept hitting him till he died, died an easy death. And left her hoping to meet the guy her parents had married her to (not the one she was living with) in another world, another time. She could not stop smiling. She could see the sun set in the far away fields.

It had a stark resemblance with the same sun she had left years ago.

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Credits

Image - Love in the air by Anand
Courtesy - Apple Blossom's Photography via www.blogaton.in

The Bubbled Trust!

She stood in the shower, stared at her hands cupped together with drops of water falling in them & then overflowing. Small bubbles of water seemed so jubilant & then they died out only to be overtaken by more bubbles. She saw her in the bubbles who were so trusting of the hands that they let themselves fall freely without fear without a thought - only to be let down by the hands. Guess that’s life! It was her wedding night; she shirked away her husband rather rudely and then had excused herself for a quick shower. He thought she’s shy. Only she knew she was scared. The moment a man comes closer, she cringes, closes her eyes, and relives the trauma. She was 10, just 10 – effervescent, jubilant, carefree just like the bubbles of water she was staring at, just like all kids are – when her uncle had on the pretext of a game when her parents were away raped her. Wasn’t he supposed to take care of her? Wasn’t he supposed to protect her? Her parents had given him the responsibility. Was this his responsibility? As she grew up, she made herself believe that whatever happened was a horrible dream, only to be reminded of the ordeal every time a man came closer. She could no more trust “man”kind. She knows she has to. She is trying. It’s just that the trust that once came easily now seems “tough” extremely “tough”.

My Lost Happy Space

I was in a happy space
Until I did what I had vowed I won’t do
A voice, a face
Took me where I dint wish to

A call and a voice
And I was there with you
A smile and a pain
And I could sense you
You were surprised and so was I
I could have been with you that very moment
Only if wishes taught how to fly…

You

I wish I could live the moment once again,

I wish I could turn back time,

When I saw your face against the window pane,

And wished you were mine.

Love and Smiles

I am in one of those moods again. The kind which makes you float in the air, which makes you want to gaze at the evening sky for hours together. I think it has got something to do with the weather and the time. Its a beautiful weather, the breeze that caresses my face makes me feel loved, the voice of birds returning to their nests makes me feel wanted. Am listening to "Yaad hai wo teri har baat yaad hai" from Phir Milenge. These songs make me lovesick. I have no clue what the word means but I think my state right now describes it perfectly. I am in this forlorn mood just listening to the music, loving the breeze in my hair, sipping a nice cup of hot tea, looking at the birds going back to their homes, And everything seems perfect, just perfect, nothing can be compared to the feeling. Is it Valentine's day? No, it can't be. Just like that I guess.

Still remember when I was in one of these moods just before our Operations exam in 1st year when I heard the tamil version of "Aye Udi Udi" in the hostel mess. What time A had, she could just not stop laughing. I enjoyed that and am enjoying now. I love this moment. Just plain, simple ramblings written in my perfect moment. Am all smiles :) :) :)

Random Musings

I have been absconding from the blogosphere for quite some while now. Reason being, just when I had started falling in love with blogging, some sites (including blogger) were blocked in office. I came to know just last week that it has been unblocked. I could have blogged from home but there was so much work in office that by the time I use to reach back, I was left with no energy or mood to do anything but sleep. Okies, now that I am done with my absence from blogging, I will write something.
Cannot actually think of anything at the moment. There were so many things that I had thought of when I was away from blogging but right now, my mind is absolutely blank. I am loving the state of affairs in my life right now.
Just had a cup of good refreshing tea. Listening to “Jaadu Hai Tera Hi Jaadu” from Ghulam on Radio. And now I am back in form to work. Have installed Windows Live Writer in my PC. This post will test that as well. Will be back in form from the next post. Right now, I gotta get back to work. My table is piled up.
Till then, take care n be good. :)

Rains, and the moods...

It's raining cats and dogs outside. And I am in a very blue and grey mood. Dunno why, but rains do this to me. I go through a plethroa of feelings and thoughts when its raining - there's exuberance yet melancholy, there's joy yet sorrow, there's ebullience yet melancholy.

There's one thing I have not yet done since ages - getting wet in the rains, that too on purpose and actually enjoying it. The water engulfing you like a shawl, the cool breeze running its finger through your wet hair, the clouds smiling and pouring as much water as they can. It feels like the Gods are smiling and showering all the love they have. Its exhilarating, can only be felt.

Then there's my room with its two huge windows, one of which overlooks the top of three gulmohar trees. The tress are laden with numerous hues of red and orange with the green leaves peeping here and there as if playing "I Spy". When I cannot go out and get wet in the rain, I just sit beside the window and stare at the water droplets soaking the flowers and the buds. I don't know why but I become oblivious to the surroundings when I am busy looking out of the window. It takes me to a different world. Its a mixture of melancholy, reflection, calm, peace and chaos. I am falling short of words when it comes to the description of these feelings.

And sadly, right now, I am in neither of the above described moods. I am sad and I am irritated. I am sitting here in my office working on something I don't even know why I am doing. And my heart is out there, soaking itself in the rains (the voice of which I can hear on the window panes of the office), calling me, teasing me that I am not doing what I wish to do.

Independence v/s Dependence

I had written about living life on my own terms some time back. Again, I did something I have always wanted to do. I auditioned for an RJ Hunt. You would say, "whats the big deal?". Nothing actually but I am happy because tomorrow when I die and I meet the masters and look at my life in hindsight, I don't regret that I did not do something I could have done. I did my bit and now life will do its bit.

Well, now back to the my terms bit. I realized after the auditions when I was heading home that right now (and it has been like this for quite sometime now) I am completely independent. Independent, from whichever angle you look at it. I take my own decisions, I go where I want to go, I eat what I want to eat, I live the way I want to live. There is absolutely nothing that I cannot do alone - shopping, eating, dancing, singing, chatting, laughing, crying, watching movies, everything. I have been told by people(all those who live with families) that mine is a lifestyle all of them want. They want to be independent and live life the way I do. What they don't know is how lucky they are. Its really depressing to unlock the door at the end of the day and enter a dark house, switch on the lights, think of making tea (but not doing so because you are tired), then think of what to have for dinner, go through the electricity bill, phone bill, broadband bill, look at the last dates, manage finances (though theres little to manage there), buy grocery etc. There's no end to it. There's nothing like living with the family. 

There's also a positive side to it. You get to choose how you wanna spend your Sunday. But it ends there. 

I, personally, hate this so-called "independence". I would love to go back to a family at the end of the day; tell someone how my day was, how I am feeling; get instructed on what to do and what not to do (that makes me feel cared for and thought of, the fact that what you do and who you are matters to somebody is beautiful). 

Independence comes with it its own price - loneliness, which is only inflating with every passing day. 

It isn't great being all by yourself. 

Hypocrisy

Was filing a few papers on Saturday, and then said something on a lighter note. She did not react, all she said was, "I don't comment on the weakest point of people." when all she had done in the last few months was exactly that. I was aghast at the hypocrisy. How can people keep doing something and then claim to be virtuous and not doing something that they do already. Its like a smoker preaching "do not smoke" or a liar preaching truth. How can people have the guts to do that. Doesn't their conscience hurt them? I actually doubt whether they even have one. 

I have been observing people since quite a while now. And what I have observed is people have a different set of rules for them and a different set for others. I neither care about what those wagging tongues have to say nor do i bother one bit. What disturbs me is how do people bring themselves to do such a thing? How? 

Some Words of Wisdom

Got the following as an email forward. Loved it, especially pt. no. 25, 26 and 29:- 

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair,but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate,resistanc e is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others.You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret,you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful,beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19.. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Love????

Just read a post on AJ's blog about "being loved, why love, do we need love?", basically love. I have been thinking of this since quite a while. Love? What exactly is this? How do you know when somebody is falling in love with you? How do you know when you are falling in love with someone? Had a discussion with PS on this, today morning. He said, "I cannot define things which cannot be defined." I agree with him that love cannot be defined but there must be something which makes you go weak in the knee, which makes you drool over somebody, which makes you feel only if I could stop time here and be in this moment forever. Not that I haven't had these moments. But those were just moments which have left those incomplete feelings born then, to wander in the forests of uncertainity. Not that I didn't know about that feelings existed but I was always scared. Dunno of what? Once a classmate in graduation told me, "Although you seem to be a chatterbox and talk a lot with everybody, there's a girl in you who's quite, who doesn't talk, who's scared, who doesn't shed her inhibitions and it is beacuse of that girl that you never take a chance when it comes to relationships." At that point in time, I just waved her off but she was right. Its because of that girl that I haven't ever taken any risks, any chances, in the hope of getting something better tomorrow, i kept losing what today had to offer me. Somebody recently told me, "Mai apne sapnon ke liye aaj ki opportunities ko to nahi chhod sakta na..." It was said with the perspective of career and profession in mind but I wonder if the same thought can be applied to relationships as well. 

All of us want to be loved, want to be dependent, want to be cared for, want the silences to talk but who is to blame if you yourself don't let that happen. Right now, I am tired of being independent, being completely on my own, from gas, ghar ka rent, bijli ka bill, mobile ka bill, khana se lekar tabiyat, doctor tak sab kuchh khud ko hi karna hi padta hai. I have actually started questioning whether all of this is actually worth it.

Uff! this entire blog entry has gone so haywire.. Just goes to show the chaos in my mind. This just doesn't make any sense at all but still i am not gonna delete it, because it has captured "now" and its chaotic silence. :) Happy Reading!!!

P.S.: Do let me know if you know how do you know when you are in love or somebdoy is in love with you???

Life On My Own Terms!!!

Have not been bolgging since quite some time!!! In fact, coming to this screen feels so good. Work has been keeping me busy. Though there have been numerous times when I felt like I should pen down whatever I feel like. There have been really strong urges to pen down some thoughts but sadly, I never had a pen and a paper when I had them. 

I few days back, I was just thinking of how my life has always been all these years. My schooling was decided by my parents, graduation was decided by time (though I love what time and life did to me), then I started thinking about my career. And ended up doing an MBA, then placements happened and here I am working in an unknown city doing work which sometimes I dislike to the core and sometimes I enjoy because of the challenge it throws and not because of what it is. And then I realized I that I have led my life like that wooden plank which has been thrown in the river and then takes the course that the river decides for it. There are neither any anchors nor any banks. It just flows with time, with the river.

It was high time that I took charge of what was happening to ME in MY life. And now I am sitting behind the steering wheel with the resolve that what will become of ME in MY life will be MY decision. At least I will strive to take it where I want it to go. I don't want to die regretting and thinking if only I had done....

I have brought a few changes in my life. Won't talk about them right now. Because the changes will show results only a few months down the line. But I can feel the changes within me. I am not mourning or regretting with the words, "arrey yaar! aisa kyun nahi ho raha..." because I know ki agar meri zindagi me kuchh ho raha hai to wo mere kuchh karne ya nahi karne ki wajah se hi ho raha hai... Hope I succeed in whatever I aspire.

Garfield, this cat has it all!!!

I envy Garfield! man, this lazy cat has it all... It can sleep for as long as it wants, he can be lazzzzzzzzziiiiiieeeeeeee, he can be sarcastic and sardonic, he can make snide comments to Jon, he can do without exercising or dieting and still get all the adulation of the world. Only if I could trade places with this cute cat!

Some of you might be wondering why am I writing about Garfield out of the blue??? And am not just writing, I am actually envying the character. Hmmm... well, its because I slept at 11 pm last night and got up at 3:30 pm today in the afternoon and that makes me feel like a criminal. I mean how can somebody sleep for so long??? How????? But I did it and now obviously sleep evades me and I have random thoughts coming in my mind (and this poor cat bears the brunt of my frustration). 

Why do I Exist?

I have been out of the blogging scene for quite a while now. Work has been keeping me busy. And I am enjoying every bit of it. There are so many random thoughts coming to my mind that I cannot think of any one particular thing. Ok, take for example, my work. I dunno that whether this is what I want to do the rest of my life. I dont know whether this is my calling... How do you know that? Is there a way? I took a couple of tests on the internet, you know the career choice inventory kinds. Now all these tests give you a list at the end which is of no help at all because the list says you can be an administrator, a teacher, a this, a that. All right! I know I can be all of them but I want to know what am I supposed to be. What is the purpose of this life? Why am I here? There has to be a reason behind it. Right? What is the purpose fo my existence? Why am I here? What is my life's calling?

हर पल एक उम्मीद की राह
हर क्षण एक किरण की तलाश
कुछ ढूंढती सी निगाहें,
कुछ तलाशता सा दिल
एक पूरा पल -
खुद में पूरी कायनात लिए हुए
हर अधूरा कल -
खुद में हज़ार कहानियां समेटे हुए,
क्या है इसका अंत?
ये सब क्यूँ हो रहा है?
क्यूँ है ये आज? क्यूँ था वो कल?
क्या हैं ये पल?
क्यूँ हैं ये सवाल?
क्यूँ नहीं मैं भावनाशुन्य?

Lonely...

All You who Sleep Tonight

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.

-- Vikram Seth

This is one of my all time favorite poems. I simply marvel at the fact that how so less words can express so much in so few words. Feeling the exact loneliness described above can be really painful. There are times when you look for companionship, when you want to be with family and friends and then when reality brings you back to itself, you are left with yourself wondering why are you here in this moment at all?
There is work to be done that you don't want to do at all. There are things to be taken care of but all you want to do is go with the flow. Bas beh jaane ki khwahish hoti hai.... Aur wo adhoori reh jaati hai.
Of late, I have started enjoying my solitude. I started doing that long ago but this time, it was forced (by circumstances) and not out of choice. I have started watching movies alone, shopping alone, talking alone and also eating alone. I hate it. I can do anything and everything alone but not eat. Why? Then I hate the hunger pangs which don't let me concentrate on anything if I decide not to eat. Why? Why can life just not let me be??? Why this sudden vaccuum which has decided to remain so... Why????????

Monday Mornings

Monday Mornings - I never thought I will be writing about it unless this Monday and this morning happened. Spent the weekend at home, cooking, reading, enjoying and being with myself. Basically, I chillaxed. Loved the feeling of just being at home, rains outside, a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. Completely charged and eagerly waiting for this four day week, I slept off on Sunday night at 11 o'clock, only to be woken up by horrible dreams of deaths. I actually saw coffins - people taking them to the graveyard, transportation of coffins, coffins all around. I also saw the death of a very close family friend. Pata nahi, what is it supposed to mean! I am praying and hoping that everything is fine.

Well, it costed me my sleep. Then suddenly when I had barely managed to catch some sleep, the alarm went off at 5 o'clock (courtesy: my fitness plans - I had planned to start Yoga and Pranayama today. Sadly, the plans have been plans ever since I can remember. Sigh!!! Will write about this some other time) Okay, so we were talking about the alarm. I looked at the alarm, shifted it to 6:30 and again went to take a tour of dreamland. Sharp at 6:30, the alarm rang, I looked at it and thought to myself, pandrah minute aur so jaati hun fir uthoongi. Well, the duration of pandrah minute lasted for 1 hour and 15 minutes and I woke up hurriedly when the maid rang the door bell only to find out that there is no water in the taps. Uff! Luckily, we had saved a bucket of water and I used that and kept another bucket under the tap which got filled in half an hour. And then our dear maid servant, spilled the entire bucket of water that had managed to travel all the way from the tank to the bucket shouting "Jol Nai Jol Nai" only to wash a piece of cloth (pochha to be precise). I rang the next door neighbour's bell, thankfully they had water and we borrowed a bucket full from them. Some respite I tell you and then I heard my friend-cum-flatmate tell me "Gas pe chai rakhi hai dekh lena". During the dekhna process, I realized that its of no use. Bcoz, we have run out of LPG. What timing! I tried the tricks which I have seen my mother and grandmother trying i.e. making the cylinder lie supine(cylinder??? supine??? Okies i hope u have got the point and if not, then don't bother to stress your brains, its not worth the effort) on floor Then frantically I searched for the heater which I can always see at some place but today, when I required it it was not to be seen anywhere. Why???????? At last I found it and we had our cup of tea in this beautiful morning, only to realize that we are running late for office. The morning omens made us fear that we will not even get taxi bcoz a.) we are late b.) the omens. To make matters worse, the fears came true. God could not have so cruel to us so at last we saw a taxi coming to our rescue and we got into it and just made it on time. Phew!!! What a beginning!!!

I sincerely hope I have a great day and greater week ahead. :)

Faith

Read on Neptune's blog that he is losing faith and I was left wondering what can be the reason for it? And the only reason that I could see was that things are not going the way he wants them to. May be it has been really long since things went the way he wanted them to. But can that be the reason why somebody is losing faith in himself or in God?

Yes, it can be the reason. Why? Because patience and perseverance are qualities that most of us lack. And we want time or God to be some vending machine bas button dabaya aur jo chahiye wo haath me. Will you then ever have faith in faith?

To all those who think that there is no reason one can be happy about, I can show you hundred you can be happy about. The fact that you are able to read this blog shows:-
1. You can read - there are millions who dont even how there name looks like when you write it.
2. You have a computer - ask your domestic help does he/she know a thing about computers.
3. You have acces to the internet - you have anything and everything you want at the click of a mouse

You are lucky, you have access to facilities and things that many dont even know about. Whenever you travel the next time, look outside the window of the car/taxi/bus/train, you will know what life is. The look on the faces of the pavement dwellers, the smiles on their faces will be reason enough for you to be happy. Just the other day when I was in the bus, I saw a child sleeping on a garbage pile and he was having a sound sleep right in the middle of the hustle bustle of the streets. People were crossing that area with a handkerchief on thier faces but he was asleep and a few like him were playing just next to that garbage pile. I am sure they don't even know what is meant by the word faith. But I saw in his sound sleep, in thier careless bonhomie and smiles, the faith that numerous people look for. He is/was sure that if he is brought to it, he will be brought through it.

Faith is within you and there is no reason why you should lose it. More so when you are in a difficult situation because from there it can only be brighter. There is no other option.

Andhere ke baad to roshni hi aayegi na, andhere me aur andhkar kya aayega?
Thoda waqt zaroor lag sakta hai, par roshni jayegi kahan, aana to use padega. :)

On that note, I will keep my pen down, hoping that everybody is happy and smiling and not losing faith.

Rains

Got completely drenched in the rains right now. It was sooooo beautiful. Don't have words to describe the whole experience, nevertheless I shall try. :)


A hot steaming cup of tea in my hand on the teastall just outside the office, me trying to keep the plastic shed full of water from touching me and in the process lifting it using one finger like Lord Krishna lifting the Goverdhan Parvat, sipping the tea in between and rains, irrespective of anything else, drenching the city and me and my poor cup of tea. And today that cup of tea seemed so less. So, I asked the chai wala bhaiya for one more cup of tea. Fully drenched i could feel the droplets on my face - loving me, caressing me, hugging me, giving me the love and companionship that I miss. The ripples created by the droplets in small muddy pools of water, playing with one another, entering the territories of their friends, smiling to themselves looked so naughty.

It seemed like the sky, clouds, air, love, nature had conspired to cover me with all the love they have. I was and in fact I still am feeling on top of the world. Kitna nasha hai baarish me! :) Mausam ki ye saazish mujhe bhigone ki bahut khoobsurat thi... :) I feel I am in love with everything around - the moment, the time, myself, everything. I was smiling to myself. And I was smiling at those who were under different buildings and sheds trying to protect themselves from rain. Wo mujh pe muskura rahe they aur mai unpe... We, of course, had our own very different reasons.


Boondon ki chaadar poore shaher ko odhe huye thi
Aur mai uski khoobsurati ko dekh kar madhosh huye ja rahi thi...



And suddenly I found myself humming the song "Lonely..." by Akon.

Graduation

We had our Convocation on 26th July, 2008 - the convocation for our Post Graduate Diploma in Management. Amidst all the confusion and complaints (why is it so early this time, who all are coming, ppl haven't joined yet etc.), most of us who could attend it made themselves available for it. I got my tickets around 20 days back and on the d-day, went to Pama's place with Anupama Gupta who finalised her plans of attending the convo only on the night of 25th July.

Reaching Chennai was filled with mixed emotions, though I was struggling to come out with my bargaining skills initially, once I was in the form I emerged victoriously and settled for 170 bucks from Airport to Gill Nagar (the autowala had quoted 250 bucks). Tamil words were flowing fluently though I fractured them here and there. :) And I was in the land of Dravidians, all set to receive my reward for 4 years.

We had lunch at Cascade and it was really nice to see that though we are all working professionals now, we were our own selfs when we were with one another. Catching up on the latest, chatting, gossiping, laughing, smiling, we had lots of fun. Then came college. After the initial round of formalities of registration, taking the gowns etc. we finally settled in our seats, the feeling of graduation had not come until the procession began. When I saw the faculties dressed in their red robes, the years started rolling in front of my eyes like a movie. The 1st ppt. on REIKI, the time when I had cried in the class for the 1st and the last time in Pandey Sir's class, my initial interest and subsequent disinterest in anything that had got something to do with accounts/finance, the shifting of rooms in the hostel, the shopping for freshers, the signature campaign, my getting titled as Ms. LIBA, the struggle to pass FM-I, the classes with Munish and Peter, shopping for Peter and Shalen, the hostel dinners with Anupama and Smriti, the chai sessions with Annie, waking up Aditi in the morning, the gappon ka session with her in the night, summers with Prachi, the ragging of the juniors, everything was so clear and I was completely lost when Soubir brought me out from my daze.

Then came the time when I received my diploma from the chief guest. Climbing down from the stairs of the stage, I was still busy recalling the 2 years when I was preparing for MBA entrance exams. I remembered reading one of Steve Jobbs' speeches where he had talked about connecting the dots. I could connect the dots now, the 2 years had taught me a lot and I had learnt my lessons well. I know that I do not wish to have any regrets when I look back at my past tomorrow and so I give my 100% to the present. I made some great friends- Saurabh, Hitesh, Prashant, Ankur, Ashima, Kritika, Nupur. Had it not been for them the 2 years wouldn't have been wonderful. I learnt a lot from all of them - Saurabh and Prashant taught me the meaning of dedication, determination and hard work. And Prashant I salute you for your patience. Hitesh taught me the value of simplicity and having your feet firmly on the ground. Ankur taught me how to take all the jokes in your stride. Kitni baar teri taang kheenchi hai but you took it all with a sporting spirit (though I must tell you all I am paying for this lesson heavily coz I am the butt of almost all jokes these days. But at the same time I must also admit that I enjoy a lot bcoz I have learnt how to be sporting).
I met Maalpani Uncle and Aunty at Navneet, Bassi. I thank the 2 years for one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I thank time for Mr. Gopalji Sharma, my REIKI guru and guide. Unse baat ke karke koi problem, problem hi nahi lagti. Thanks a ton Uncle.

The four years were flashing in front of my eyes and the reward was there in my hands. I formally hold a Post Graduate Diploma in Management now. Thank you God for everything. And last but not the least thanks for Ma Papa. :)