Garfield, this cat has it all!!!

I envy Garfield! man, this lazy cat has it all... It can sleep for as long as it wants, he can be lazzzzzzzzziiiiiieeeeeeee, he can be sarcastic and sardonic, he can make snide comments to Jon, he can do without exercising or dieting and still get all the adulation of the world. Only if I could trade places with this cute cat!

Some of you might be wondering why am I writing about Garfield out of the blue??? And am not just writing, I am actually envying the character. Hmmm... well, its because I slept at 11 pm last night and got up at 3:30 pm today in the afternoon and that makes me feel like a criminal. I mean how can somebody sleep for so long??? How????? But I did it and now obviously sleep evades me and I have random thoughts coming in my mind (and this poor cat bears the brunt of my frustration). 

Why do I Exist?

I have been out of the blogging scene for quite a while now. Work has been keeping me busy. And I am enjoying every bit of it. There are so many random thoughts coming to my mind that I cannot think of any one particular thing. Ok, take for example, my work. I dunno that whether this is what I want to do the rest of my life. I dont know whether this is my calling... How do you know that? Is there a way? I took a couple of tests on the internet, you know the career choice inventory kinds. Now all these tests give you a list at the end which is of no help at all because the list says you can be an administrator, a teacher, a this, a that. All right! I know I can be all of them but I want to know what am I supposed to be. What is the purpose of this life? Why am I here? There has to be a reason behind it. Right? What is the purpose fo my existence? Why am I here? What is my life's calling?

हर पल एक उम्मीद की राह
हर क्षण एक किरण की तलाश
कुछ ढूंढती सी निगाहें,
कुछ तलाशता सा दिल
एक पूरा पल -
खुद में पूरी कायनात लिए हुए
हर अधूरा कल -
खुद में हज़ार कहानियां समेटे हुए,
क्या है इसका अंत?
ये सब क्यूँ हो रहा है?
क्यूँ है ये आज? क्यूँ था वो कल?
क्या हैं ये पल?
क्यूँ हैं ये सवाल?
क्यूँ नहीं मैं भावनाशुन्य?

Lonely...

All You who Sleep Tonight

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hand to left or right
And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years.

-- Vikram Seth

This is one of my all time favorite poems. I simply marvel at the fact that how so less words can express so much in so few words. Feeling the exact loneliness described above can be really painful. There are times when you look for companionship, when you want to be with family and friends and then when reality brings you back to itself, you are left with yourself wondering why are you here in this moment at all?
There is work to be done that you don't want to do at all. There are things to be taken care of but all you want to do is go with the flow. Bas beh jaane ki khwahish hoti hai.... Aur wo adhoori reh jaati hai.
Of late, I have started enjoying my solitude. I started doing that long ago but this time, it was forced (by circumstances) and not out of choice. I have started watching movies alone, shopping alone, talking alone and also eating alone. I hate it. I can do anything and everything alone but not eat. Why? Then I hate the hunger pangs which don't let me concentrate on anything if I decide not to eat. Why? Why can life just not let me be??? Why this sudden vaccuum which has decided to remain so... Why????????

Monday Mornings

Monday Mornings - I never thought I will be writing about it unless this Monday and this morning happened. Spent the weekend at home, cooking, reading, enjoying and being with myself. Basically, I chillaxed. Loved the feeling of just being at home, rains outside, a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. Completely charged and eagerly waiting for this four day week, I slept off on Sunday night at 11 o'clock, only to be woken up by horrible dreams of deaths. I actually saw coffins - people taking them to the graveyard, transportation of coffins, coffins all around. I also saw the death of a very close family friend. Pata nahi, what is it supposed to mean! I am praying and hoping that everything is fine.

Well, it costed me my sleep. Then suddenly when I had barely managed to catch some sleep, the alarm went off at 5 o'clock (courtesy: my fitness plans - I had planned to start Yoga and Pranayama today. Sadly, the plans have been plans ever since I can remember. Sigh!!! Will write about this some other time) Okay, so we were talking about the alarm. I looked at the alarm, shifted it to 6:30 and again went to take a tour of dreamland. Sharp at 6:30, the alarm rang, I looked at it and thought to myself, pandrah minute aur so jaati hun fir uthoongi. Well, the duration of pandrah minute lasted for 1 hour and 15 minutes and I woke up hurriedly when the maid rang the door bell only to find out that there is no water in the taps. Uff! Luckily, we had saved a bucket of water and I used that and kept another bucket under the tap which got filled in half an hour. And then our dear maid servant, spilled the entire bucket of water that had managed to travel all the way from the tank to the bucket shouting "Jol Nai Jol Nai" only to wash a piece of cloth (pochha to be precise). I rang the next door neighbour's bell, thankfully they had water and we borrowed a bucket full from them. Some respite I tell you and then I heard my friend-cum-flatmate tell me "Gas pe chai rakhi hai dekh lena". During the dekhna process, I realized that its of no use. Bcoz, we have run out of LPG. What timing! I tried the tricks which I have seen my mother and grandmother trying i.e. making the cylinder lie supine(cylinder??? supine??? Okies i hope u have got the point and if not, then don't bother to stress your brains, its not worth the effort) on floor Then frantically I searched for the heater which I can always see at some place but today, when I required it it was not to be seen anywhere. Why???????? At last I found it and we had our cup of tea in this beautiful morning, only to realize that we are running late for office. The morning omens made us fear that we will not even get taxi bcoz a.) we are late b.) the omens. To make matters worse, the fears came true. God could not have so cruel to us so at last we saw a taxi coming to our rescue and we got into it and just made it on time. Phew!!! What a beginning!!!

I sincerely hope I have a great day and greater week ahead. :)

Faith

Read on Neptune's blog that he is losing faith and I was left wondering what can be the reason for it? And the only reason that I could see was that things are not going the way he wants them to. May be it has been really long since things went the way he wanted them to. But can that be the reason why somebody is losing faith in himself or in God?

Yes, it can be the reason. Why? Because patience and perseverance are qualities that most of us lack. And we want time or God to be some vending machine bas button dabaya aur jo chahiye wo haath me. Will you then ever have faith in faith?

To all those who think that there is no reason one can be happy about, I can show you hundred you can be happy about. The fact that you are able to read this blog shows:-
1. You can read - there are millions who dont even how there name looks like when you write it.
2. You have a computer - ask your domestic help does he/she know a thing about computers.
3. You have acces to the internet - you have anything and everything you want at the click of a mouse

You are lucky, you have access to facilities and things that many dont even know about. Whenever you travel the next time, look outside the window of the car/taxi/bus/train, you will know what life is. The look on the faces of the pavement dwellers, the smiles on their faces will be reason enough for you to be happy. Just the other day when I was in the bus, I saw a child sleeping on a garbage pile and he was having a sound sleep right in the middle of the hustle bustle of the streets. People were crossing that area with a handkerchief on thier faces but he was asleep and a few like him were playing just next to that garbage pile. I am sure they don't even know what is meant by the word faith. But I saw in his sound sleep, in thier careless bonhomie and smiles, the faith that numerous people look for. He is/was sure that if he is brought to it, he will be brought through it.

Faith is within you and there is no reason why you should lose it. More so when you are in a difficult situation because from there it can only be brighter. There is no other option.

Andhere ke baad to roshni hi aayegi na, andhere me aur andhkar kya aayega?
Thoda waqt zaroor lag sakta hai, par roshni jayegi kahan, aana to use padega. :)

On that note, I will keep my pen down, hoping that everybody is happy and smiling and not losing faith.

Rains

Got completely drenched in the rains right now. It was sooooo beautiful. Don't have words to describe the whole experience, nevertheless I shall try. :)


A hot steaming cup of tea in my hand on the teastall just outside the office, me trying to keep the plastic shed full of water from touching me and in the process lifting it using one finger like Lord Krishna lifting the Goverdhan Parvat, sipping the tea in between and rains, irrespective of anything else, drenching the city and me and my poor cup of tea. And today that cup of tea seemed so less. So, I asked the chai wala bhaiya for one more cup of tea. Fully drenched i could feel the droplets on my face - loving me, caressing me, hugging me, giving me the love and companionship that I miss. The ripples created by the droplets in small muddy pools of water, playing with one another, entering the territories of their friends, smiling to themselves looked so naughty.

It seemed like the sky, clouds, air, love, nature had conspired to cover me with all the love they have. I was and in fact I still am feeling on top of the world. Kitna nasha hai baarish me! :) Mausam ki ye saazish mujhe bhigone ki bahut khoobsurat thi... :) I feel I am in love with everything around - the moment, the time, myself, everything. I was smiling to myself. And I was smiling at those who were under different buildings and sheds trying to protect themselves from rain. Wo mujh pe muskura rahe they aur mai unpe... We, of course, had our own very different reasons.


Boondon ki chaadar poore shaher ko odhe huye thi
Aur mai uski khoobsurati ko dekh kar madhosh huye ja rahi thi...



And suddenly I found myself humming the song "Lonely..." by Akon.

Graduation

We had our Convocation on 26th July, 2008 - the convocation for our Post Graduate Diploma in Management. Amidst all the confusion and complaints (why is it so early this time, who all are coming, ppl haven't joined yet etc.), most of us who could attend it made themselves available for it. I got my tickets around 20 days back and on the d-day, went to Pama's place with Anupama Gupta who finalised her plans of attending the convo only on the night of 25th July.

Reaching Chennai was filled with mixed emotions, though I was struggling to come out with my bargaining skills initially, once I was in the form I emerged victoriously and settled for 170 bucks from Airport to Gill Nagar (the autowala had quoted 250 bucks). Tamil words were flowing fluently though I fractured them here and there. :) And I was in the land of Dravidians, all set to receive my reward for 4 years.

We had lunch at Cascade and it was really nice to see that though we are all working professionals now, we were our own selfs when we were with one another. Catching up on the latest, chatting, gossiping, laughing, smiling, we had lots of fun. Then came college. After the initial round of formalities of registration, taking the gowns etc. we finally settled in our seats, the feeling of graduation had not come until the procession began. When I saw the faculties dressed in their red robes, the years started rolling in front of my eyes like a movie. The 1st ppt. on REIKI, the time when I had cried in the class for the 1st and the last time in Pandey Sir's class, my initial interest and subsequent disinterest in anything that had got something to do with accounts/finance, the shifting of rooms in the hostel, the shopping for freshers, the signature campaign, my getting titled as Ms. LIBA, the struggle to pass FM-I, the classes with Munish and Peter, shopping for Peter and Shalen, the hostel dinners with Anupama and Smriti, the chai sessions with Annie, waking up Aditi in the morning, the gappon ka session with her in the night, summers with Prachi, the ragging of the juniors, everything was so clear and I was completely lost when Soubir brought me out from my daze.

Then came the time when I received my diploma from the chief guest. Climbing down from the stairs of the stage, I was still busy recalling the 2 years when I was preparing for MBA entrance exams. I remembered reading one of Steve Jobbs' speeches where he had talked about connecting the dots. I could connect the dots now, the 2 years had taught me a lot and I had learnt my lessons well. I know that I do not wish to have any regrets when I look back at my past tomorrow and so I give my 100% to the present. I made some great friends- Saurabh, Hitesh, Prashant, Ankur, Ashima, Kritika, Nupur. Had it not been for them the 2 years wouldn't have been wonderful. I learnt a lot from all of them - Saurabh and Prashant taught me the meaning of dedication, determination and hard work. And Prashant I salute you for your patience. Hitesh taught me the value of simplicity and having your feet firmly on the ground. Ankur taught me how to take all the jokes in your stride. Kitni baar teri taang kheenchi hai but you took it all with a sporting spirit (though I must tell you all I am paying for this lesson heavily coz I am the butt of almost all jokes these days. But at the same time I must also admit that I enjoy a lot bcoz I have learnt how to be sporting).
I met Maalpani Uncle and Aunty at Navneet, Bassi. I thank the 2 years for one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I thank time for Mr. Gopalji Sharma, my REIKI guru and guide. Unse baat ke karke koi problem, problem hi nahi lagti. Thanks a ton Uncle.

The four years were flashing in front of my eyes and the reward was there in my hands. I formally hold a Post Graduate Diploma in Management now. Thank you God for everything. And last but not the least thanks for Ma Papa. :)

Complexities of Life

People are good to you not because they are good but because they have some work. They are mean to you not because you have done something to them but because they gain some internal, sadistic pleasure by making fun of you. They are rude to you not because you were rude to them but because they gain the same sadistic pleasure mentioned above by being rude to you. They make fun of you not because they have a great sense of humor but because they get a false sense of seniority complex.

There are times when I wonder is it actually seniority complex/attitude or is it mere inferiority complex unfolding itself in the form of so-called "seniority complex".

And who gave them the right to do that? Have they ever looked within and checked whether they are perfect? I am sure they are not because none of us mortal beings can be perfect. Have they ever questioned themselves about their right to mock at somebody? I am sure they have not and will never do so because they will be basking in the self glory of their seniority complex.

Go ahead guys, keep doing that because unless you do that the world will never realize the importance of genuine people.

People in our Lives

I got this as an email forward. Really liked it, so here it goes:-

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Insensitivity

My friends have been telling me that i have not been writing since long and I, thus, decide to write on something i have been thinking of quite a long time and that is, INSENSITIVITY. Time has been kind enough to show me this aspect of the world and people around really soon or was that just in time? Dunno, but yes I know this aspect now. Just a few days back, I was going with my friend on a scooty and just when I crossed the college gate, and was about to cross the road, I heard some guys hooting and shouting loudly. There was a huge bus coming from the opposite side, I lost balance, I was about to fall, there was a man behind our scooty whom I almost hit while getting back and trying to save us from the bus and all I could hear was people rolling in laughter because they, probably, saw some very hilarious sight. Guys making comments on girls is very common, and I was not even surprised on this but what left me flabbergasted was the reaction I got when two of their own "friends" were almost killed by a bus. I just wanna know one thing from all the people reading this (and not only the ones who were hooting that day) that would you have done the same thing if the girl on the scooty was your sister/mother/wife/girlfriend? You would have probably picked up a fight with the guys who would have done that. Isn't it? But when it comes to two girls who are related to you only as batchmates, you do this.

Then I have to talk about classes, we have professors, all of us who study have them, nothing new in it but the professors I am talking about here are the ones who are qualified, who have an enormous amount of experience behind them, who were there on high posts before they retired from their jobs, they were heads of departments, they were directors and CEOs, they take lots and lots of pains to prepare for classes and teach us, they have experience written all over them and if you actually listen to them, you will find how much they know and how much you can learn from them and then come the classes... You have a professor of such a stature teaching and there are people who are using their laptops to watch movies, to listen to songs, they are throwing paper balls at each other, they are chatting at the top of their voices, there are proxies of people who are not attending the class, there are people who are entering the class from the back door after an hour and get their attendance. After seeing all of this, people sleeping in the class and using cellphones to message just becomes acceptable. And I used to think of it as derogatory to the faculty. Where has the sensitivity and respect for teachers gone? And yes, the students don't do all of this in the classes of the faculties who they hate, who they cannot stand, who they call names, who are partial, who have no transparency in the grades they are giving to the students, etc. And in the classes of such faculties, people are wide awake, cellphones in the bags, pin-drop silence and at their best behavior. So, does it take a person to be really bad to command all that he deserves in the class?

Same holds true for all the ppts that are made in the classes. Nobody, not a single soul is listening, why? Because they think that its just cool not to listen in the class. And when you ask them not to do such thins, what they say is you should have sat on the first bench, anything after the bench will welcome you with world-class misbehavior. Now, my question again is if you are in the class, are you not supposed to listen irrespective of the place of bench where you are sitting. Classroom is a place where you study. Now, whether or not you have to study is a choice that you make but who gave you the right to disturb others who have actually come to listen and pay attention?

Then there are people who are talking at the top of their voices on the cellphones outside rooms, in public places, in cinema halls, in plays, who don't keep their cellphones on silent when it is required, who play loud blaring music in the middle of the night without any occasion and in the hostels where it is not required.

And then there are those who have the guts to make fun of you when you actually go and ask them to be reduce the volume a little, to lower down their voices, and be a little sensitive. There are those who trademark you with your words of "How Insensitive?". People laugh and have their share of fun but what they don't realize is that this is the legacy that we are leaving for our future. It is painful when you are at the receiving end. Many of those who do all the above mentioned things have been at the receiving end and I know that but what surprises me is that they are not affected by any of these things. And it also bothers me to know that they have lost their sense of sensitivity completely. Immaturity, insensitivity, all these things will lead to nothing but a world of inhumane humanity.

Break-ups???

I just read a friend's post about love and break-ups on his blog. I was just amazed by the way this topic can set a person a thinking. And I, being no exception, was tempted to share my views on the same.
Now, to all those, who have wasted numerous tissues crying for someone who has walked out of your life. Please stop doing this social work. Or invent some way of recycling your tears into some water. Social work, in this way, wil actually do some good to the society. (voila! great idea... researchers please take note and try and convert this thought into a valuable product. )

Well, on a serious note, I must tell you all that I am not some heartless cruel person who does not know an iota about break-ups and love. I very well understand how it feels. One questions a numerous things viz. self-worth, whether the person was right, whether the timimg was right, whether the relationship was right, are there any chances of getting the same person back, why did it happen to me, etc. etc.

The answers to all the questions is guys, be happy. U have a chance to get somebody who is actually meant for you. I might sound as if Madhuri Dixit from DTPH has inspired me but thats the way it is. Why not look at it this way that now you have a better chance of finding the one for you. And somebody better can walk into your life. You don't have any other choice except sulking, do you? Why not look at things from a different point of view and be happy rather than being in the past and staying saaaaaaaaaad. The former definitely seems to be a better option than the latter.

Now, people might say (i know they will), "madam, its very easy to preach than practice; its easier said than done." etc. etc. I know, i know. And i am coming to the POA, what the people who have recently broken up can do is this:-

1. Hobbies: You can try and nurture your hobbies, playing cricket, listening to some music(and i mean some nice-happening music which lifts up your spirit and not "dil aisa kisi ne mera toda", if you cannot bring yourself to play good music, ask your friends to prepare good playlists and play them), writing, reading, travelling, do whatever you feel like doing or have always felt like doing but you could not because of the paucity of time.

2. Flirt: This one is actually gonna make you feel good. Go out and flirt but nice, healthy flirting, just do not be outrageous and turn up looking really despo.

3. Watching Movies: Watch movies, especially the kinds you were not able to watch when you were with your bf/gf because the movies were not of their choice. Its the best way to make yourself forget the heart-break.
P.S.: Start with"The Holiday" starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet and Jude Law. You might end up feeling good about your break-up. :)

4. Shopping: Girls will definitely vouch for this one. And boys, if you have not tried it, please try it. It is worth it. If nothing, at least your mind wil get away from the break-up issue.

5. Vacation: Go for a vacation, visit a nice beautiful place, get away from the daily routine. You will feel great. The Holiday will prove this one to be a great soother as well. I know the movie is very movieish and not something which can actually happen but then who said you cannot believe it? Who knows, you might be the person with whom something like what they have shown in the movie happens?

6. Hang-out with friends and family: Did you have the time to catch up with friends/family when you were seeing your ex? No na? So, now is the time. Even they have some right on your time. Don't they? And if nothing, you will only end-up feeling great and loved. Thats the very feeling that went missing, remember?

7. Look good: Dress well, exercise, dance, visit a beauty salon. Looking good also makes a person feel good. It releases the happy hormones and you feel happy. :)

8. Time: If nothing of the above works, give yourself time. They don't say "time is the greatest healer" just like that. It is indeed the greatest healer. As time moves on, even you will move on in life.

9. FRIENDS: Well, this is a healer for anything and everything. Watch FRIENDS, u will love it and feel amazing. And it is a remedy not only for break-ups but also if you are feeling lonely, down, bored, any negative feeling wil go away when u watch FRIENDS. :)

In the end, break-ups are not the end of the world. They are just a new beginning. I know it sounds cliched but believe me it is a new beginning. It just throws opens numerous options in front of you. And its upto you to choose one among them and options, in terms of not only finding a new person but also in dealing with the break-up and in taking lessons from it.

Stay happy... :)